Parents watch their kids climb on fragile gravestones at historic cemetery and do nothing about it, tourist steps in and is shut down by mother: ‘These kids are fine’

Author image for Melissa Knudson
Melissa Knudson • Writer
Oct 25, 2026 7:15 AM EDT

Is it okay to parent someone else's kids when they are doing something wrong?

I can understand why parents don't like other people to correct their kids, even when they do something wrong in public. Because they know their children the best, they should be the ones to educate them and guide them in the right direction. That said, on many occasions, strangers feel the need to intervene. Some of them somehow feel like they could do a better job at parenting (probably not), and some of them just see no other choice in a particular situation. It very much seems like something you should never do, and it will be taken as an overstep in most scenarios. However, what if it was the right thing to do?

In this story, two women, who are also moms, are visiting a historical landmark in Boston. A cemetery that is a couple of centuries old. Because of its age, the tombs in the place are fragile and unstable. That's when they see a couple of children playing around, directly endangering the integrity of the historical artifacts. As their parents were not intervening, the two women decided to jump in and correct the kids as nicely as possible. When the parents saw this, however, they challenged the women's authority by telling the kids to disregard what they had been asked to stop doing. The parent's argument was that they were local kids, so they shouldn't be called out for playing in their own neighborhood.

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  • Historical graveyard
    via Getty Images Signature ( Via bibi57 )

    Historical graveyard. 

    Image shown for illustrative purposes; person depicted is a model.

  • AITA for parenting a random woman's child at a historic site

    My sister and I, both mothers in our 40s, were on vacation in Boston yesterday. We visited a very
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  • old cemetery (c. 1659) on the Freedom Trail. Buried here are numerous people of historical significance from the colonial era, some of whom are Revolutionary War veterans. Many
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  • headstones are in states of decay and are structurally unstable.
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  • We were somewhat appalled to see young children running around along the graves and playing on the headstones, including leaning and climbing on them. These
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  • children were too young to understand the implications of their actions, but their parents were right there, watching them do this.
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  • After a little bit of discussion we decided it was worth saying something, so when a child. ran past me I said (using my most friendly voice--| work with children so I feel fairly confident on how I come off with them), "Hey be careful
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  • around the old stones, okay? They're very old and not good to climb on." The parents were standing only a couple feet away, so I
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  • knew they would hear this (and I didn't mind. I was really speaking to them more than the child, in a way).
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  • Upset woman at historical site
    via Nicolas Menijes

    Upset woman at historical site. 

    Featured likenesses do not identify those mentioned.

  • The presumable mother to this child said to him, "Oh, nevermind. Go on and play.
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  • You've done nothing wrong." She then turned to me and said, "These kids are fine. They are neighborhood children."
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  • I get her point--that these aren't tourists, they are kids in their own neighborhood and playing in your neighborhood is what kids. do. But I believed and still
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  • believe that protecting delicate items of historical significance is important enough to make an exception, not to mention that it could be considered disrespectful to let kids. climb on others' graves.
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  • Woman scolding kid
    via Getty Images Signature ( Via lechatnoir )

    Woman scolding kid.

    Representative only.

  • Still, they weren't my kids, so maybe it wasn't my place to speak up. So, reddit? AITA?
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  • Now, it's easy to see both points of view here. Even when I am not a parent myself, I also don’t like when other people try to tell me how to do my job without being asked to and without the experience required. That goes for parents as well. It is they who share every single day with their kids, and thus, it is they who know how to correct them better. Usually, it's not a good idea to jump in with not enough information and try to do their job for them. 

    That said, it doesn’t mean you should never interfere. Parents are not perfect, and they can drop the ball sometimes, making the wrong decision or looking away when kids are misbehaving. In this particular case, for example, the friendly stranger was right to speak up. Not only was she very respectful, but she wanted to transmit the importance of historical preservation to the children involved. It is a pity that the parents didn’t allow this lesson to take flight.

  • emmyfro NTA. A local kid can damage a piece of history just as much as a tourist kid.
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  • defendpoppunk77 NTA, if they're local they should feel even more of a sense to preserve the history not less
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  • Pepsi AllDay78 Absolutely NTA. If they don't discipline their child, eventually society will, in all kinds of ways! You were very kind.
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  • Exciting-Author1330 You're not supposed to interfere with someone's parenting strategy because they presumably know their kids best. This wasn't that at all!
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  • When I was a diner waitress, a couple used to let their oversized 2-year-old run free, and he was a menace, running into the kitchen, crawling under servers' legs when they were serving. I would have clapped if someone had stepped in. The community should when the parents don't do their jobs! NTA
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  • Apprehensive-Hand 673 NTA they aren't local kids at all. I grew up in Boston and would take my son there and teach him how to respect a graveyard. A true Bostonian would have reacted the exact way you did. Sorry this happened and please don't think that real Bostonian are this ride
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  • OptiMom1534 NTA. Running around isn't the problem but climbing on the stones is a problem and local or not, it shouldn't be done because they can crumble. It's so disrespectful.
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  • As a 'local' myself to 'local' neighbourhood kids in a heavily touristed, historically significant area where my kids run around and do things that get tourists nervous, I've had people try to tell off my kids- and it
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  • does get annoying after a while... but they're not climbing on property that isn't theirs or doing anything. destructive that will damage anything, so whilst I can kind-of see where she's coming from to a degree, they're actually in the wrong in this particular instance and you aren't.
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  • Kids playing outside
    via Pexels ( Via Boris Hamer )

    Kids playing outside. 

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • It is definitely not ideal to take the lead on teaching somebody else’s kids how to behave, but there are clearly some exceptions. When the situation gets out of hand, you might not have a choice. That said, as long as you have actual ground to stand on regarding what you’re trying to communicate to them, and you do it in a respectful and nice way, there should be no problem. Most parents would’ve appreciated an extra hand on this occasion and agree with these tourists that not every place is a playground. Sadly, not the parents in the story. On that note, make sure you choose your battles carefully and do not intervene where you are not needed. On the other hand, when it is your time to take action, know that as long as you’re doing it for the right reasons, you’re making the correct choice.

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irresponsible parents gravestones kids neighborhood historic place kindness of strangers tourists children playing moms local kids parenting boston parents
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